The Chair
by tomorrow will be kinder
Summary: After the death of his mother, Draco loses the will to live and ponders his relationship with his mother. One shot! Reviews appreciated.


**AN: I recieved a review from someone saying that the ending of this didn't really suit it, and I do agree with them. SO, I have re-written the ending and am posting this for all you people to read. And don't forget to review, please.**

**Disclaimer: No copy-right infringement intended. I own nothing. It belongs to Mrs. J.K. Rowling and all rightful owners.**

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White. Black. Gray.

Those seemed to be the only colors I saw. No brightness, only darkness. Only white, black, gray. From my chair in my study, all I saw were those colors. All day. All week. All month. For a month, I sat in the chair, only leaving if needed. I slept, most of the time it was in the chair. Astoria tried to get me up and out of the manor to all extents. But I couldn't. Or maybe it was just that I wouldn't. I had no reason to live on. She was gone and I was alone. All alone.

My mother, the wonderful mother and wife of former Death Eaters, was gone. I couldn't help thinking back to when she was alive. And while sitting in the chair, all the memories of her came flooding back.

At age 3, I had my first encounter with a house elf. I could remember running to her in fear, in tears, and jumping into her lap. She had hugged me tightly and told me that a house elf was nothing to be afraid of.

At age 5, I went with her and my father to Diagon Alley for the first time. My father paid no attention to me at all, but mother held my hand as we walked and spoke to me in soft tones, telling me the names of the stores we passed. When people stopped to speak to my father and complemented my handsome features she had beamed.

At age 8, I walked into my father's study to find that I had interrupted an important business meeting. My father had shouted at me, as I trembled in front of him, he had raised his hand as if to hit me just as my mother burst into the room and whisked me away out of the room.

At age 10, I received my first broom, an Astronite 600, and while riding it, fell 8 feet to the ground. It was a small fall but it frightened the living day lights out of me. My mother had come running across the manor grounds, shouting my name. When she got to me she, Narcissa Malfoy, sat down in her expensive robes in the dewy grass and pulled my 10 year old form onto her lap. She had wrapped me in her cloak and held me until I stopped shaking.

Through school she read and answered every letter ranting about Harry Potter I had owled with kind, reassuring words. In my 5th year when Father had been sent to Azkaban, she held both of us together and in my 6th year when Voldemort had summoned me she had asked Snape to protect me. She had always been the best mother and now she was gone. No one to comfort me. No one to hold me.

While those memories fell back into the deep parts of my mind, something hit me. Almost like an alarm went off. I had something to live for, Astoria, my wife, and Scorpius, my son. I wasn't alone, I had them. I had Astoria to hold me and comfort me. I had to be strong for my family; they were all I had now. I had to watch Scorpius grow up and teach him what my father didn't teach me. To show him the right way.

I jumped to my feet and backed away from the chair I never wanted to sit in again. Pushing open the big study doors, I burst through and ran down the hallway, all the way to the great hall. I turned to the right and ran right into the sitting room. Astoria was perched on a sofa, a book on her lap while Scorpius was on the floor, a blank piece of parchment in front of him and some colored quills. But the eagerness to see them and hold them that had occupied me earlier had left and now all I could do was stand there and observe them quietly. How I wished that I had the strength to reach out and touch them, but I couldn't. There were moments when I had the courage and as soon as I came near Astoria or Scorpius, something would freeze inside me and I would retreat back to cold hollow spot I had come from. I knew that they needed me, but something held me back, a wall or barrier of some sort, and as much as I wanted to break it down, I couldn't. Astoria needed a husband who could hold her and show her that he loved her; but Scorpius needed me the most, he was barely three, still a baby in Astoria's eyes, and he needed a father. But it couldn't be me as I much as I wanted to be.

I stood in the doorway for long time before Astoria realized someone was watching her. She looked up and immediately her eyes found mine. The look on her face went from shock to joy to anger then another expression I couldn't idenify, in a whole second. She said nothing, just gazed at me before Scorpius noticed my presence and stole her gaze away from me.

"Daddy!" He shrieked and ran, as fast he could on his short legs, and wrapped himself around one of my legs. He gazed up at me with the most innocent expression, and all I did was absentmindedly pat him on the head before looking back at Astoria. Her face was unreadable. Scorpius unlatched himself from my leg before he stepped back, and looked up at me. He looked confused and a bit expectant and I couldn't help but feel for him. Here he was trying to get my attention and get me to show him some affection and all I did was look at him. He bounded over to Astoria and jumped into her outstreched arms and his face disappeared behind Astoria's blond curls. She rubbed his back and gave me an accusatory glare as I saw his little fists entangle in her hair.

I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again. I could not speak. The room around seemed to blur and gradually slip into a black and white cover. I felt as if I was back in the chair again, the coldness seeping through my robes and skin, and settling inside me. If only I could claw my way out again, just one more time, and be courageous enough to tell them I needed them. My body as if on its own accord, took a step back, back to the chair. I only needed to say three words and I would be free. The words balanced on my tongue, if I could only say them…

"I love you!"

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**AN: I really really hope you liked it, I like it alot better with the new ending. Anway, READ & REVIEW, pretty please. :)**


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